


of late-night duels and tacos

by thelittlenyx (Nyx_Aki)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 10:48:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11781582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyx_Aki/pseuds/thelittlenyx
Summary: “You. Me. Taco Bell parking lot at the break of dawn.”A clash of legends, a challenge of the ages.“Bring your weapons.”And so it begins.where Yuri Plisetsky challenges JJ to a duel and chooses the legendary Taco Bell parking lot as their battlefield.





	of late-night duels and tacos

“You. Me. Taco Bell parking lot at the break of dawn.”

A clash of legends, a challenge of the ages.

“ _Bring your weapons.”_

And so it begins.

 

***************

 

_5:45 AM, TACO BELL PARKING LOT_

The world is dark and silent. The only light comes from the interior of the Taco Bell restaurant, the few patrons in it unaware or uncaring of the shift that goes on in the belly of the netherworldly surroundings outside.

Many battles are challenged, fought, lost, and won in the dim arena that is the Taco Bell parking lot. Reputations lost. Lives destroyed. Legends made and preserved in memes uncounted.

The two opponents facing each other across the distance of the dusty Coliseum of the modern ages, each promising a silent world of savagery and bloodshed, will tip it all.

A challenge issued from legends themselves will undoubtedly sweep away the other victories and defeats like chaff in the wind. Indeed, they were born to make history! The dim light from the ever-present taco diner provides poor luminance to the holy weapon that is-

“Are you SERIOUS.” JJ says in disbelief. “That’s your weapon. Your SKATING SHOES.”

On the other side of the parking lot, Yuri Plisetsky makes a sound like his cat when she gets scratched in the wrong spot. “I won the GPF with these shoes, idiot! YOU BET I’M WINNING THE DUEL WITH THIS!”

JJ stares at him. “When you challenged me to a duel here in the ice rink yesterday, you didn’t actually specify _why_ or _how_ we’re doing this.”

Yuri bares his teeth. “Gonna back down? Where’s YOUR weapon?”

A haughty snort is what he gets as his reply. “A weapon for a kitten? My _JJ STYLE_ speaks volumes!”

The screech of hellish fury pierces the night and sends its blooded message to the heavens. The air stills in breathless anticipation as the first opponent, The Ice Tiger, legend of the ice, takes to his feet and charges with his fists stuck in his knife shoes at the Canadian Hero.

Like two avalanches, hurtling down with unstoppable force, the two warriors bear down upon each other-

-only to screech to a halt at the sound of a merry honk and a merrier voice calling their names from the source of said honk.

 

_HOTEL LOBBY, TWENTY MINUTES EARLIER_

“Yuuri, I’m hungry and we’re out of Doritos!”

“No, Phichit.”

“I haven’t said anything yet!”

“You don’t need to. I _can see it in your mind.”_

“Wow!” Phichit Chulanont exclaims, sounding like the fiancé of the meanwhile-very-done Katsuki Yuuri, who is snoring peacefully in his hotel room where Yuuri had left him a few minutes earlier due to an “emergency text” from his best friend. “You can read minds?”

“Yes. I’m all-powerful.” Yuuri grunts, rising from the sofa where Phichit had splayed himself on. “Now I’m just going to go back to Victor and-oof!”

Phichit had thrown a hand across his gut and brought him back down with an unceremonious push into the couch.

“Phichit!”

“Let’s go get tacos!”

“Eeeeehhh?!”

“I know a Taco Bell’s around nearby- I saw it as I was driving to the hotel this morning. Can we? We haven’t hung out in ages!”

“At THIS time?!”

“The early bird gets the tacos!”

Yuuri stares at Phichit for a moment.

“Fine.” he says eventually, pulling himself from his seat. “But you’re getting me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch plus a combo.”

Phichit cheers all the way to the car.

 

_5:56 AM, TACO BELL PARKING LOT_

“Yuri! JJ! Are you here for tacos too?”

The two contenders screech to a jarring halt as Phichit’s cheery voice resounds from the hot pink convertible that Yuuri is driving, having not entrusted the charge of Victor’s precious car to his friend.

Yuri squints. “HAAAAH? Who is that?”

JJ blinks, momentarily blinded from the car lights and the sudden appearance of the life-sized Barbie car. “Is that… Hi, Phichit! Yuuri! Are you here to witness our Epic Showdown?”

Yuuri, already regretting his life choices, groans and puts his head on the steering wheel.

“What are you guys doing here?” Phichit asks cheerfully, not at all intimidated by the smoldering stare of the Russian Tiger several feet away.

“Well, you see,” JJ starts, “Yuri and I have agreed to meet here for a-“

“I’M HERE TO KICK HIS ASS!” Yuri screeches.

“With skate shoes on your hands.” JJ retorts. “Good going. You can’t even do the JJ Style with your hands jammed in your shoes.”

Yuri is practically foaming at the mouth at this point.

“YOU PIECE OF SHIT SKATER!” he fulminates. “I’LL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND THEN REASSEMBLE YOU SO THAT YOUR LEGS ARE WHERE YOUR ARMS ARE AND THEN WE’LL SEE WHETHER YOU CAN DO YOUR STUPID JJ STYLE, LET ALONE _SKATE-“_

Yuri would have carried out his threats, too, had not Yuuri slammed the horn down on the convertible, jerking them all to attention with the blast of sound.

“It’s too early for dismemberment, don’t you think?” he says in his most calming voice, once he’s certain everyone is listening. “Since we’re at a food place, why don’t we talk this over- including WHY you want to tear him into pieces, Yurio- and eat something meanwhile?”

“DON’T CALL ME YURIO!”

“Yuri. Sorry. So what about it?”

In the end, a consensus is reached. If Yurio and JJ still seek battle (not that JJ ever thought it was serious in the first place) they could do so, but after food, in the morning, on the ice rink like the proper skaters they were.

“I’m good with that.” JJ says genially. “I AM the King on the ice, after all.”

“HAH!” Yurio snorts. “If I can beat you down last GPF, I can do it again tomorrow, and anytime!”

“Food!” Phichit cheers.

Yuuri sighs.

 

***************

 

Later, around the meal of tacos and burritos (Yuuri gets the Cheesy Gordita Crunch Phichit owes him) Phichit asks them why they were fighting in the first place.

“JJ was being annoying.” Yurio says through a mouthful of Double Chalupa. “So I decided to end it, once and for all, today. Which I WOULD have done had not you and Katsudon interfered.”

Yuuri sighs. “Dueling at Taco Bell at midnight isn’t the way to do it, Yurio.”

JJ sets down his quesadilla. “I would beat you, anyway.”

Yuri’s eyes bulges quite impressively.

“ _It is on!!!”_

***************

 

In the end, neither JJ nor Yuri manage to skate the following day. They challenged each other to an Ultimate Eat-off Duel and ended up with stomach pains and indigestions the next morning.

During Yakov’s screaming, Victor threads his arms around Yuuri’s midriff. “I wonder why youngsters are so driven?”

Yuuri smiles, leans his head into his fiancé’s shoulder.

“Well, you know what they say…a Taco Bell duel either makes you or breaks you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> why do I do this lmao
> 
> this is dedicated to albert(soph) on Discord, who inspired me to write this after a convo of the wonders of Taco Bell and the many feuds often battled on their parking lots.
> 
> also, this is my first ever fic on AO3. thanks for reading!
> 
> I can be found at http://little-lapis-lazuline.tumblr.com/ .


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